we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
