does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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