I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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