Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
