We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
