Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize