also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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