If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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