This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
