i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
