I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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