I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Randomize
