I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
