Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
