i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
