but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize