it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
