He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
