This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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