After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You can't motorboat a personality
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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