I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
