I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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