Sacagawea was the original milf.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
