talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
