tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I am spending my child support on dildos
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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