i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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