It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
