Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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