is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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