Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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