Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
