There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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