He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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