Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
