She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
