I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
