Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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