I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
