You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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