hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
