dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
