We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
