went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
