Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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