Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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