My boss' voice literally gives me gas
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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