i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
