She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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