I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
