this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize
