Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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