I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
