on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize