this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
